I have a little over four months until my 30th birthday and with it comes my deadline to reach target at Slimming World.

I’m half way there and I should be feeling pretty good about things but I’m not, I’m just fed up.

I haven’t been to class in weeks and I’ll have to officially rejoin tomorrow. Truthfully, I’ve lost count of the amount of take-aways I’ve had over recent days – it’s not looking good.

The only difference this time is: I’m not giving up. I’ll go back tomorow and stand on the scales of shame – my name for them not the group’s – and I’ll dust myself off and try and remember why I’m doing this.

At this stage, I don’t really remember. I’ve asked the ridiculous amount of cheese in the fridge the same question and it’s less than helpful; it just keeps saying things like: “What the hell do I know? I’m cheese.” and “Have you taken your tablets today?”

You don’t even want to know what that sexy bitch ‘chocolate’ is saying. The temptress.

Running is also a nonstarter. I’ve been on two runs in the last two weeks and they were less than entusiastically undertaken.

In an attempt to add some glamour to the exercise I decided to ramp up the inspirational music. Shuffle landed on the ever-annoying ‘Let it go’ and I went with it (don’t judge me).

I was getting to my big finale when I got caught up in the moment and flailed my arms out for my Elsa pose, hitting an unsuspecting dog walker in the face in the process.

NO GOOD COMES FROM ME EXERCISING!!!

So tomorrow I’ll head back to class in the hope that I’ll get my mojo back, but tonight I will eat all the chocolate in the house while looking at inspirational intagram quotes and cry, Any takers? Your loss.